![]() Rudel is one of the earliest known Troubadours, or skilled court poets, who rise to prominence in southern France in the 12th century and write poetry on one subject exclusively: Love. He is off to see the Countess of Tripoli, with whom he has fallen deeply in love. Jaufré Rudel, the Prince of Blaye, sets sail for Tripoli, in modern day northern Lebanon. This may have created a collective trauma we’re still in flight from. ![]() The notion that you should love your spouse would have seemed plain laughable. ![]() Yet for thousands of years, until only a minute ago on the historical clock, it was unambiguously meant to be only about land, power and money. Feelings are meant to be our only lodestars. This is so alien to us, it’s worth reflecting on just how much we nowadays refuse to entertain – at least in public – any practical considerations when marrying. The people of Mari are in effect saying that what gives a marriage meaning isn’t how much the couple happens to love one another, but whether it is beneficial in terms of trade, connections and war. He marries off eight of his daughters to rulers of neighbouring cities, forcing each of his new sons-in-law to sign a document pledging themselves to him. Zimri-Lim’s attitude to marriage continues with his children. Mari occupies a critical position in the trade routes between Syria and Mesopotamia, and marrying Shibtu will allow Zimri-Lim to expand his wealth and power. King Zimri-Lim of the ancient city of Mari, on the banks of the Euphrates, marries Shibtu, the princess of the neighbouring kingdom of Yamhad.įar from being the outcome of love, this marriage, like that of many between powerful people in the ancient world, is purely transactional. We are still learning what we need and how we might get more successful at love. We may, in fact, still be only at the early stages of the history of love. Love is a cultural invention and we are not at the end of its evolution. The point of rehearsing a few of the telling moments in love’s history is to remind ourselves that there are different ways of arranging relationships, depending on what a given society happens to believe in. In other words, people around the world haven’t always fallen in love the way they do now. The strange thing about love is that even though we experience it in a deeply personal and apparently instinctive way, it has a history.
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